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Emotionally Invest In Your Woman!

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The more you build your woman up, the more valuable she will be in both your life and her life.

Often times men will mistake our request for support as being too emotional. Although, I believe that us women are emotional creatures, I do think that the words “too emotional” is used incorrectly.

When we are requesting support we are in need of words of affirmation, encouragement, or stimulation. Each day we step out into a world where black women have to work 10x harder than anyone else, feeling unappreciated. In the presence of our significant other, we would like to hear and feel POSITIVE VIBES ONLY!

Dwelling on the negative things about her will only cause her to feel like she isn’t good enough. Words have the ability to do a lot of harm to those whose love language is words of affirmation. Using poor choice of words and energy can lead into emotional wounds for her. This will cause her to have self-doubt, low self-esteem, depression which then will pour into your relationship that will eventually fail.

The quote “behind every great man is a great woman” was first used in the mid-1940s. The first printed citation of above quote stems from a male athlete referring to his wife. In order for him to perform, his wife needed to play her role in his life.

If he was breaking her down with negative comments I don’t believe she would be able to provide the necessary support he needed as a athletic.

Build her up! If you want your queen to hold you down, you will need to make sure that you’re contributing to her high self-esteem and self-confidence.

Ask yourself the question, If she questions her value in her self, how will she be of any value to you. A beautiful black woman with high self esteem and knows her self-worth is a powerful woman. It will take a strong man who is secure with himself to let her shine and provide “support” to her daily. Every king should have a strong QUEEN behind them!

What I Am Wearing

Top- H&M

Skirt- H&M

Shoes-Shoedazzle

Let It Go, Sis

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“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.” –Jack Kornfield

Yes, we are all guilty of holding on to situations that we know we should release from. Whether we are holding on to a grudge, holding on to memories from a relationship or holding on to a negative experience that replays in our minds.

You have to understand that holding on does not change anything. Holding on to a situation will only hold you back from creating a strong sense of self.

One of the most difficult things for most people to let go of are relationships. Often times, we will turn into someone completely different when we don’t want to let go. We start to make poor choices, lie, or even bring negativity to not only yourself but the ones around you.

I remember holding on to a past relationship even after my heart was broken and the relationship was clearly over . I couldn’t even recognize myself when I looked in the mirror. I was angry all the time, stressed out and took my frustrations out on my loved ones.

The moment I recognized i was holding on to this relationship that was over, I started to “DO THE SELF-WORK.” First, I learned to accept that the relationship I thought I was suppose to be in forever is over. I began to move on and that is when my life started falling back into place for the good.

Although it can be difficult to let go of someone you’ve built a deep connection with, it is necessary to let go to live a great life.

The key to letting go is facing what has happened, accepting that you can’t change it and then moving on. 

What I Am Wearing:

Top- Wellington Mall

Cargo- Fashion Nova

Shoes- Ego

Clutch- Express

A Picture Perfect Birthday

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Mood: It’s a celebration every time we link up 😝

If you’re like me, then you love love love birthdays. I love the entire process leading up to my birthday festivities.

From transforming with hair and make up, planning the festivities (my sister really plans it, lol), to inviting all of my close family friends to come and celebrate me. I love it all ! And yes I am very EMOTIONAL around my birthday. ♋️

This year was a tad bit different. Normally, I would travel to a location where 20-25 family and friends would meet me.

Or I would do a themed dinner party. But this year I decided to stay local and lowkey. Well I kind of lowkey. LOL

My sister, who’s always in charge of the planning committee, made reservation at Banko Cantina for tacos, margaritas, and whatever else that came with that night.

We did tacos because my birthday fell on a Tuesday…Taco Tuesday’s! Get it?! Lol

Everything was so perfect! Everyone came out and enjoyed the night. I am a firm believe of controlling your energy and who gets to invade your space.

The family and friends that attended had the perfect energy I needed. The love and support was so real!!

I’ve learn so much about myself in the last couple of months leading up to my birthday.

I realize I had to increase my self love, self affirmation, positive thinking, and my selfishness.

Yes, you read correctly. I had to put me first in all facets of my life. Love life, work life, family life, etc.

Best decision I ever could have made this year. I am so much more happier, stress free and just loving life.

This year I have to say my birthday was perfect. I’m in a good space mentally. I’m so excited for what’s to come.

Happy Birthday To Me !!

What I Am Wearing:

Corset- Fashion Nova

Jeans- H&M

Shoes- Ego

Hair Provided by, Colored By, Installed By-www.styleseat.com/kadiekay

Be Confident. Be Beautiful. Be You.

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Most people think that confidence comes from becoming successful and achieving desired results. That’s absolutely backward! In order to be success you have to possess a level of confidence first.

Increasing your confidence and improving your self-esteem actually makes you more likely to succeed!

Here are a few actions on how I boost my confidence: (In no particular order)

1. LOOK THE PART. The exterior is the window of the interior. If you look good on the outside you will feel good in the inside.

2. TOUCH UP THE SELF IMAGE. It is a known fact that we will often risk bodily harm and embarrassment to save our self-image. Self-image is so important for your confidence. Change a thought like “I am such a mean person” to something like “I have been mean lately, but that’s all changed because…” and finish with a worthy affirmation. Do this every day and soon you will change your world by changing how you think about yourself.

3. THINK POSITIVITY THOUGHTS. Having negative thoughts is a destructive habit.
The good news is, every thought can be easily transformed. All you have to do is exchange your negative thoughts for positive ones.

What I am Wearing:

Top-Forever 21
Bottom-H&M
Shoes-JustFab
Purse-Aldo

Embracing New Beginnings

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“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown”

There is something to be said about new beginnings…

In my early 20s, any time I was faced to start something new, I always had a little fear and anxiety. The thoughts of the unknown outcome always had me hesitant to embrace new beginnings.

A new beginning can be anything from a new business, new career paths to even new relationships. Unfortunately, I have passed up on a lot of “new beginnings” just out of fear alone. That is definitely not a way to live life, I know.

Fast forward to my 30s, I realized you can not go through life with a fear of new beginnings. New beginnings happens to us in life because it awakens us to see more clearly. Each new beginning we have challenges us to give more of ourselves, for the sake of ourselves and for others.

So lets ask ourselves, How can we embrace new beginnings?

1. LET GO OF ALL CONTROL. Let go of your need to hold on to the past or attempts to control the future. Our path was already written for us all. Let go and let God guide you through your journey.

2. HAVE A BEGINNERS MINDSET. Don’t try to do the new like the old. Be curious and ask lots of questions. The key word is NEW. Embrace it as a fresh start.

3. TRUST THE PROCESS. Simply be open to letting things unfold. Have patience and watch everything work itself out. During the process have fun and take time out to celebrate any small victories.

New Beginnings hold the potential to become the final awakening to a legacy instead of a loss. Embrace it all!

How will you embrace your next new beginning?!

What I Am Wear?!

Dress- Fashion nova
Jean Jacket- American Eagle (Cut by me)
Shoes- Ego

Reset. Refocus. Reclaim.

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I don’t know about you but every now and again I need to reset.

We tend to get caught up in familiar cycles, every day routines, and even the grind that we don’t realize that we are loosing ourselves and risking potential breakdowns during this thing called life.

For me, I realize I had to reset when my insomnia kicked in. I went 4 days straight with no sleep. I would just sit in the dark and think. Pretty scary, I know.

At this point, I had to make a decision on how I wanted to handle this. Do I go to a doctor and get a prescription for some sleep aid? or Do I do the self work to RESET, REFOCUS, AND RECLAIM myself.

Here are a few things I’ve done (in no particular order) to help me get back to myself:

1. TAKE A BREAK. It is OK to take a break from EVERYTHING. Give your mind a break from all productivity. Take some time away from work, family and kids. Head to a beach and just listen to the waves. No phone. No social media. Its just you and the ocean. Try to mediate if you can to clear your mind.

2. GET RID OF ANY STRESSFUL SITUATION. You should reevaluate all situations that’s going on in your life and remove anything that brings you more stress than happiness.

3. HAVE FUN. Get out and let your hair down. The great thing about living in Florida is we live where people come to vacation. Head south for a 1-2 day stay-cation and have a blast.

4. CHANGE YOUR SCENERY. Go to new places and meet new people. Some times just a change in your scenery can bring on such good vibes and energy that can inspire you to get back to yourself.

Doing any of the about steps can help you reset. The most important thing to do is to always put YOU first. From time to time I tend to forget that but with a quick RESET, I always bounce back. Love yourself enough to do the work so that you can get back to being the best version of yourself.

I’m happy to say I have RESET MY MIND. REFOCUS ON MYSELF. RECLAIM MY HAPPINESS.

What I Am Wearing:

Shirt- Express

Jean Shorts- Cut by me

Shoes- Justfab

Handbag- Justfab

Fall Into Love ❤️

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Don’t fall in love with someone. Fall into love…

After my last breakup, my concept of love has completely changed. Unfortunately, I’m no stranger to heartbreak, disappointments and thoughts of giving up on the whole relationship thing. But in life, I believe we go through certain situations and run into certain people to learn about ourselves.

In the past, I used to go into my relationships expecting to be loved like what I see on TV. You know the cliche love scenes when two people running towards each other at an airport and jump into each others arms was pretty much what I thought love was, LOL.

But love is just so much more! Love is impossibly imperfect. Love is patience. Love is forgiving. Love understands your weaknesses. Love does not see gender. Love is encouragement. Love is a choice. Love is an universal language.

We have to dig deep when loving our partners. We need to understand them in order to love them. Understand what makes a person laugh, cry, smile are all very important when loving someone. Knowing one’s love language is always beneficial.

Remember when you’re in love with that special partner, love isn’t perfect. Love doesn’t always make you happy. But it makes you better. Because love knows that its central function in your life is to help you grow. Growth can hurt. Love will change you to become a version of yourself you didn’t know existed.

Trust me I’m no expert on love. But I will tell you that I’ve been through enough and had plenty of time to do the “self work” to know how I want to love and be loved!

Remember you can’t expect for someone to love you if you don’t even love yourself. Do the work. Being able to receive love begins with self love❤️

What I Am Wearing:

T-shirt: https://chicnyc.com/discount/chicnyc (click link for a 10% discount)

Shorts: H & M

Accessories: Forever 21

Handbag: Aldo

Shoes: Aldo